Jake and Sam were best friends until then but also brothers. It is strange that one little piece of bacon broke them up because a couple months before, Jake and Sam were goofing around while their mom was gone. Sam accidentally knocked the computer right onto Jake’s finger and broke it. Jake was crying his eyes out and had to go to the hospital and wear a cast for a whole year, but even then it did not effect their friendship so it is surprising that one little piece of bacon broke them up. that proves how firm and solid they really are.
A week after the bacon incident Jake and Sam haven’t said a word to each other since. later that night mom came up to Sam’s room and said that Jake was sorry, but Sam didn’t believe it. He thought mom just made it up so that they would talk to each other, and he was right. She even went so far as to put them in a room with no food and water until they talked to each other but even that didn’t work.
The only thing Jake and Sam did during the day was get up from bed, go down stairs, eat a piece of cheese, and go back up stairs and go back to bed. Every time they saw each other they stick their tong out at each other and run back to their rooms. When ever one of their friends asked about one another they just say “It doesn’t matter, he’s in the past.” And then says “I should to go I have a lot of things to do.” And walks away. Jake felt miserable and regretted what he had done but there was no way he had the guts to apologise to Sam.
Two weeks after the bacon incident they were getting ready for their first day of school in 6th grade. Sam walked up to Jake’s room and asked have you seen my other shoe?” Jake said no and then stuttered to say “I I I’m sorry OK, I’m sorry. I haven’t showered for a week, I smell like a rotten banana and I’m just a mess I need you.” said Jake. “I forgive you.” said Sam in a forgiving way. “Brothers? Brothers.” They shook hands and headed to the bus. “Wait a minute we are brothers why are we shaking hands?” Sam said. “Come here you!” Said Jake and gave Sam a hug.
Wow! I can show this to my sister and maybe it will work! The ending really shows how siblings can always be your friend! If you don't have friends you always have family.
I have found myself reading this story over and over again because it so beautifully expresses the way people feel when they argue with a friend over something trivial (small).
I especially appreciated the way you gave each boy an individual voice. "I haven't showered for a week, I smell like a rotten banana and I'm just a mess, I need you." is a wonderful, expressive thing for Jake to say.
The ending for the story is a real relief for the reader, because you make us care about these two boys.
I know how hard you worked and how often you revised to put in more and more of their reactions and feelings.